Archive for the 'Marriage' Category

The Covenant Penguins - Evolution?

Friday, August 15th, 2008

The other day I stumbled upon a website which had a very good movie of evolutionary history in the form of a narrated line drawing. It showed how somehow out of the cosmic primordial glob two cells were somehow miraculously formed who then formed a successive group of cells who then somehow formed something else, and then miraculously turned into something else totally different! I had to laugh. Then eventually all these transitions from one cell to fish to land creatures and birds to monkeys led to man, the highest evolved species, and who knows what comes next? I wrote a comment to the makers of the film thanking them for the entertainment and acknowledging the great amount of faith it must take to believe that somehow some unknown way we sprung up out of that primordial glob. We followers of the Lord Jesus Christ have it a whole lot easier: “And God Created Man in His own image…” “…And God said…”

I saw a good example of God’s intelligent design and purpose this week when we took our grandson to the zoo. We saw all the different animals, but one of the most interesting to me was the penguin exhibit. I found out that penguins are covenant keepers. They have one mate for life. Both the male and female tend to the nest, and guard the egg. When the egg hatches, together they protect and nourish the youngster until he is able to fend for himself. I watched as the zookeeper fed fish to these penguins. They swallow the fish whole, and they ate a lot of fish. Every year they molt and loose their protective feathers during which time they cannot jump into the water. They would die. So they eat lots of fish before molting.

Another thing which impressed me about the penguins is their streamlined efficiency in the water. Their small wings make it impossible for them to fly in the air, but they can sure fly through the water. With few strokes per minute they attain over 20 miles per hour in the water. Their feet are tucked into the streamlined flow as to not cause any drag.  As I saw them swim, I thought, “How can anyone believe in evolution when you look at something as purposeful as the penguin?”

We humans could take a lesson from the penguin. God intended for us to have one mate for life, but we have developed into a society which has both “serial polygamy,” and prolific promiscuity.  We could learn something about child rearing from these penguins – that it is the task of both the mother and the father. Yet sadly we see so many abandoned children in our world, and single parents struggling to make it work. God has a specific purpose and plan for each of us, but most of us spend our entire lives trying to discover what that is, and never find it. When we do, however, everything fits together like the streamlined form of the swimming penguins.

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Sailing the seven “C’s” of marriage

Tuesday, February 26th, 2008

There are seven “C’s” which every marriage must sail in if they are to survive.

With the divorce rate at an ever increasing rate, and the very foundations of marriage as an institution challenged on every side, we must apply daily these “C’s”. These were from a wedding ceremony I did for my niece’s wedding. I thought they would be good for anyone to know.

The seven “C’s” of marriage:

1. Commitment

Without being committed to one another and to God a harmonious marriage cannot last long. I urge you to pray together each and every day. Read the Bible together and share. Give yourselves fully to each other. The Bible says:

1Corinthians 7:4 “The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.”

1Corinthians 7:10 “To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.”

2. Compromise

When two people live together there must be compromise. Give and take. The husband is commanded to love and honor the wife thus fulfilling the solemn vow you have just made. The wife is commanded to submit to her husband - not in an overbearing manner but in unity. Let me tell you, it makes for a healthy marriage if you can learn to discuss your differences and compromise in your decisions.

3. Communication

This is a crucial “C”. Communication is only possible if one is listening and trying to understand the other who is speaking. Sometimes the spouse doesn’t even need to be speaking! Stop what you are doing and give devoted attention to the other. Set aside blocks of time for communication and undivided attention.

4. Courtesy

Courtesy is kindness, good manners, being a gentleman and a lady. It almost seems an old fashioned concept in this day and age, but it is important for good marriage relationship. J B Phillips translated 1 Corinthians 13: 5 “Love has good manners.” Men, do the dishes, set the table, open the door, help her get her coat on or off, give her flowers, say something nice, never say anything ugly, smile a lot, laugh a lot together.

-5. Comedy

Proverbs 15:13 “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.”

Let there be laughter. Joy is the mark of a Christian life - or should be. Laughter is good for the soul. Go ahead, be a clown get that frown off your face. Tell a joke, do something silly together! Watch a funny movie. I recommend The Stupids for some good original, clean humor.

6. Covenant

As I mentioned earlier a covenant is not the same as a contract. The ring is a symbol of a covenant - an everlasting agreement, an alliance. In Portuguese it is interesting that the word for ring is the same as the word for covenant (Aliança). A vow is a covenant.

Ecclesiastes 5:4 “When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow.

Ecclesiastes 5:5 “It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it.

Ecclesiastes 5:6 “Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the temple messenger, “My vow was a mistake.” Why should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands?

A covenant is not based on the other’s performance or not. It is unilateral - one sided. God’s love for us is unconditional, so should our love be for our spouse.

It is interesting that as recently as 40 or 50 years ago, covenant was still a common phrase in the wedding ceremony.

7. Charity

The seventh “C” that you will have to sail is charity. It’s an old fashioned word which we often translate “Love” these days. I’m not talking about charitable organizations here. I’m talking about pure and simple LOVE. Love bears all things, the Bible says. Without love there is no intimate relationship. Love is a gift from God. Godly love is unconditional. It does not depend upon the other party or their behavior. It is genuine. Love is not just a physical attraction, but a spiritual commitment.

Ephesians 5:28-31 “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no-one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church -­ for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

Read 1 Corinthians 13 every night for the first month of your marriage until you begin to grasp the meaning of Love.

Closing thoughts:  

 

A surefire way of maintaining these “C’s” is to pray together as husband and wife. We learned an awesome way of doing that from Bob and Audrey Meisner:

When you pray, first look each other in the eyes, and the husband goes first. He will start by thanking the Lord for everything that he can think of regarding his wife.

Next, he will ask forgiveness for anything he has done to hurt or offend her. I showed this to a young couple one time and they said “Yikes! We’ll be up all night doing this!”

Then the husband prays a blessing over her. He can bless her with things great and things small, with wisdom, affirmation, words of love, abilities and skills, success in her goals for the next day. There are many things you can pray over your wife which will bless her. Just ask the Lord what he wants to say to her and He will direct you.

Then it is the wife’s turn to pray these same things over her husband. If you do that regularly – if everybody did that, I bet there would be NO divorces.

We have a great series of seminars which help teach you how to impart blessing. Just go to www.familyfoundations.com to see if there is one in your area.

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